since 2010 is the year of change......

...i guess i might as well move where we had planned to in the first place: orlando.

you know, the land of mickey, happiness, childhood dreams, outlet shopping, blah, blah, blah. i can go on and on. but i digress.

before i get too excited, there is one MAJOR hurdle i have to jump. this hurdle is called a job.

finding jobs nowadays sucks. and even when you find a job that you might like, it ends up paying like $4 an hour with the potential for a $0.10 raise every 5 years (im obviously exaggerating, but you get the idea).

love.lust.need.want

is there always a diference?

sometimes i think back on my conquests/past 'loves'/wastes of time/etc., and i cant help but wonder what it was that initially grasped my attention, but more importantly, why it was so difficult to pull away.

did i think it was the ellusive 'love'? yea, probably.
were there promises and statements made that were false? definitely.
did i want to believe it was meant to be? of course, who doesnt??
was i just an idiot? DUH.

now was it because he was the 'man of my dreams'? FUCK no.

if it was one thing i always knew, i knew that i deserved better. but yet, i stuck around. being the typical 'stupid girl' who wants to believe that hes the right one. that he loves me. that he doesnt lie, doesnt cheat. that he isnt a royal piece of shit. smh.

words that rhyme with 'tuesday'

so i didnt fall asleep last night til 430-5 AM. then in a spur of awesome events, i am awakened by my 3 horribly needy dogs jumping on my ear, face, stomach, woohoo, etc. let me tell you, that is NOT how you want to be awakened after not being able to sleep at a reasonable time. i brushed it off and dove under my blankets and extremely comfy (for lack of a better word) comforter so that i could resist these attacks.

eventually the terrible three [dogs] decided to chill the f*ck out, so i resumed my peaceful slumber. that is until the king of nuisanceland (peanut, my peanut butter-colored pom) decided to come chill on the bed with me.

**a quick background on peanut and his stupidity: peanut has decided he needs to mark his territory EVERYWHERE. that is an extremely literal everywhere. sofas, walls, doorways, plastic bags, boxes, etc. hes even pissed on my feet. that f*cker. **

anyway, i was minding my own business when, in an instant of dumb shit, peanut cocks his leg on my DOWN COMFORTER and pees on it!!! W T flying F!!? i was so mad. so mad in fact i wanted to throw him against a wall or something. ughhhh.

so hence my title today: words that rhyme with 'tuesday'. there really arent any (that i can think of) but i came up with the new title for this blessed and fabulous day: 'tuesday blues-day.' yea, sorta like 'sunday funday,' except much more upsetting. but look ahead with a sense of positivity, because tomorrow is HUMPDAY. only good things happen on humpday. such as humping, for one.

**note: no animals were harmed this morning**

its been a while.....

• since ive called my mother (easy fix).
• been to school (gonna start that online thang this month).
• went to the beach (i live in FL for peets sake).
• bought a new bag (its a recession).
• cut my hair (i only let brazilians touch my hair).

etc, etc, etc.

the list is endless...

but i guess i havent blogged in a while either. main reason for that is because i forgot/ got real lazy. you know when u get in a rut where u dont like whats [not] going on in life, but yet you feel no real motivation to do something about it? yea, thats where i was this past week.

after my visit home i found myself getting very emotional/ pissy/ borderline bi-polar easily. when i say easily, i mean if you sneezed too loud around me i was about ready to cuss you out. i really wish i could have blamed it on the female's #1 reason for unwarranted bitchiness (PMS) but unfortunately, hormonal imbalances had anything to do with my demeanor at all. i found myself sad at one moment, to happy, to completely pissed off in a matter of 5 minutes (or less). i want to think its because i miss home, but i feel like theres more to this than just being 'homesick'.

am i crazy? you dont really have to answer that. matter of fact u shouldnt answer that, because i will bite your head off with the quickness of a cheetah. a very hungry cheetah. or a lion.

just dont test me because ive done some self-diagnosing, and with my expertise in the field, i would have to say i may be borderline personality disorder meets bi-polar. whichever scares you more.

RAWR.